Behen Mayawati and Bee-tide Story

I don’t know from where to start.

I think I should start by thanking Timesnow, Newshour in particular, and especially Arnab Goswami for telling us this beezarrest-of-the beezarre story of “Bees-attack” on Behen M. Frankly, the entire script seemed to be a rip-off from some crazy Sci-Fi film!

Just spare a few moments to hear me narrate the story …

Day-1; Act-2

(Day-1; Act-1 is the “act” of garlanding Behen M with the costliest and the heaviest of the garlands ever made by humanity - of many thousands 1000-rupees notes – 5cr. or 50cr.? - nobody has been able to calculate the actual cost of it so far.)

The location is some ground in Lucknow; the occasion is celebration of 25 years of BSP’s existence; in and around are a couple of million people – all Dalits, perhaps – out there to hear their saviour and pride, Behen M. …

Behen M is busy reading out her speech in front of the poorest-of-the-poor Dalit brothers & sisters – non-manuwadis - and suddenly one – and all – hears the buzz of Bees! Thousands of them - as if in a “special appearance” in a comic-tragic film for aam aadmi - all out to attack Behen M! … It could be that those Bees had mistaken the scent of currency in the garland to be that of flowers! Kaagaz-ke-phool, after all, those notes were – devoid of any honey (RBI, please take note of it)! At least that’s the most plausible theory about the Bees' brazen behaviour that I can think of!

Nonchalanty, Behen M continues to read from her speech-page; the security commandos start to get uncomfortable; somebody takes off a nearby-lying table cloth but doesn’t know what to do with it, waiting for Madam’s commands – whether to wrap it around Behen M or …

A few moments pass and the Bees lose all interest in Behen M’s scripted speech and decide to fly away, ending their brief “cameo”. Or may be, they did not find the HQ – Honey Quotient – of Behen M palatable enough! And, Behen M is saved from the manuwadis-sponsored “Drone-attack”! …

Behen M “uninterrupted”: the story continues …

…..

Day 2: Act-2

Behen M orders a DIG-level probe into a suspected conspiratorial Bees-attack on her. …

The rest of the Media seem to be still abuzz with her Maha-Garland story (Dial M for Mala!) but this beezarrest-of-the beezarre story is aired primetime on the Newshour on Timesnow.

And this is how the nation comes to know of the plight of the poor DIG who is perhaps contemplating to quit his job and also leave his country forever. Because, he knows only too well that if he cannot corroborate Behen M’s conspiracy theory about the “Bees-attack”, he will have to contemplate suicide. … (My stretch of imagination but true nevertheless: it matches with the unedited version of the story which is meant for producer-director’s exclusive viewing only.)

Behen M apparently could not see janta’s-tide turning in her favour with the “Bee-Tide” around.

So, this is the “Bee-tide” story of Behen Mayawati. …

…..

By the way, do you know why only 1000 rupees notes were used for the garland? Because, their colour matches the colour of Behen M’s clothes – pink! S(h)ame – S(h)ame. …

…..

Now, while Timesnow – Newshour actually – is debating this beezarrest-of-the-beezarre case, and the anchor Arnab Goswami is fighting his Bee-tears with Suhel Seth on the unfolding of the most comic-tragic drama in the history of politics, and television reporting, I too find myself shedding honey-laced Bee-tears with both of them. At the same time, somewhere on the planet earth, Ripley’s Believe-it-or-not team is secretly viewing the entire episode of the fallout of the conspiratorial “Bees-attack” on Behen M to include in their next edition of collection.

Don’t believe it? Well, you will when Ripley’s next Limited Edition comes out soon.

Till then, all my dear Bees, All Izz Well that Ends in a Honey Well :)