I know you are too small to understand the irony of this “distinct status” but I still thought of not being untruthful to you on your first day in life. Actually, I could not summon enough courage to tell you anything other than the truths. But whatever I am going to reveal to you are relevant from the Indian perspective only. If you were born in a more developed part of the world, your could grow to be a true Destiny Child! Not in India, unfortunately.
Nargis baby, let me introduce us Indians to you. We Indians are amongst the most hypocritical of the lot and, therefore, we behave in a manner which could be best described as “unique”. We love to believe that we worship female form of God’s creation by pretending to be worshiping Goddesses – and we have plenty of them, all described and presented as the most powerful & feared ones! But in total contrast we indulge into meting out some of the most despicable treatments possible to a human being i.e. to our women folk – spanning the entire stages of life.
On birth of a girl child we mourn. This is when the female foetus could survive. Else, we finish the root cause of our misery in its inception stage itself and we feel no remorse in practicing female foeticide. And that is the reason India’s sex ratio is pathetically skewed towards males (1000:835 approx.). But this is what we are made to believe based on the internationally established benchmark; for us, a male child is a divine blessing! And, vice-versa for a female baby – needless to repeat.
Then, if a girl child survives in spite of the harshest of the conditions being ensured around her birth, she is ignored completely and allowed to grow on her own. The mother’s contribution is not much besides feeding her with her own milk in the initial few months and then leaving her to survive on a mal-nourished diet comprising of “leftovers” – a diet which is going to stay with her as a “habit” for her lifetime, till whatever time she manages to be alive.
Barely she learns to walk that she is made to do household chores like sweeping, cleaning utensils, washing clothes, graduating to cooking while still a child and contributing to rearing of her male siblings, if the mother is blessed thereafter! (The scene in an educated household is a bit better in terms of facilities and treatment but at the core the disdain is almost the same. Mind you, the female foeticide cases are more in urban areas in comparison to the uneducated rural settings.)
Education for a female child, if undertaken, is taken with great difficulty and is still viewed as a necessary formality. Many of the females still get left out from the ambit of formal education. Even in today’s modern 21st era, interestingly, education is considered to be an “investment” towards getting a better groom at a lower cost!
Yes, a female – irrespective of her family’s social and financial background – is “sold out” at a pre-fixed price to the prospective groom which is otherwise termed in the Indian society as “dowry”. If the dowry amount is not satisfactory, the bride is burnt without mercy!
And in between her life from being a baby to being a bride and beyond, she is expected to play only “roles” – of a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a mother-in-law, a grand mother. Never she gets to live her own life as “She”. She is always somebody’s something!
This is the simple part of growing up as a female in India as far as that “somebody” is your “own” family. The complexities arise when the “others” start to exercise their “rights” on you just because of your gender. You will understand it fully when you grow up and try to walk the streets outside the walls of your home. Nargis, you would be utterly disgusted to see the other half of the population – males – behave in the most gutterly (gutter-like) fashion! They will ogle at you, pass vulgar remarks at you, try to touch you in public, harass you, physically abuse you and if the “opportunity” presents – or not – many would not even blink before deciding to molest you. And when you protest, you could get killed. And, if you survive, and decide to get the culprit punished, the honourable courts proceedings will make your life so miserable that you would either commit suicide or would end up as a mental wreck forever. You know, Nargis, in India, the onus is on the raped girl to prove her innocence!
Baby Nargis, you would have understood the value of a female life – and body – in our esteemed country which so hypocritically prides itself on being female Goddesses’ worshipers!
And that is the reason I wondered at the hype being created upon your birth as the 7th billion baby on this earth! Firstly, because Indi as already over burdened with 1.2 billion people and secondly, but most unfortunately, you being a baby girl in India! (Again, mind you, an average Indian male’s life is also nothing to aspire for, but on this later …)
Therefore, Nargis, I wish you were born in a more developed parts of the world where your birth could be “welcome” in the most authentic manner and not as a mere “symbolism” – for what, I am yet to figure out! Where you could get an equal respect and opportunity towards everything in life – from life to life partner(s)! Where you were “you” and not somebody’s something merely.
Anyways, I wish you All The Best and Welcome you again in this Big and Bad World which is India! May God be with you always, baby Nargis … J
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The irony of the name Nargis is not lost on me: Nargis means a flower symbolizing life per se; Nargis was also the name given to the deadly cyclone which devastated Burma in 2008! Hope this baby Nargis always keeps growing like a flower J
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